I had heard about spas on movies and television, but I had never been to one. What were they going to do to me, I thought? I was a spa virgin and I was scared.

1:15 p.m. The lady at the front desk whisked me off to the women’s locker room without giving me the chance to say good-bye to my boyfriend. She handed me a robe, some slippers, a key to my locker, some instructions and went away. I stood there, robe in hand, staring at my locker, not knowing what to do next. I couldn’t help being reminded of high school P.E., only with a ready supply of Evian water and thick, plush towels within my reach. Finally, I asked someone, “Excuse me, am I supposed to leave my clothes on or off inside my robe?” She was very polite and didn’t seem taken back at the question. She asked me what I was having done. I looked at my itinerary and told her I was having a facial, a salt glow and a Swedish massage. She smiled warmly and proceeded to tell me that I could leave my underwear on for the facial and the massage, but I would need to wear paper panties for the salt glow. Paper panties? I had never been more afraid in my life.

I was taken to the waiting room where I was told I had to sit until they called my name. I couldn’t help feeling like I was the only neophyte in the room. The women around me relaxed their feet on chairs, munched on fruit, and enjoyed bottle water and glasses of iced tea. I, however, sat stiffly on my chair, clutching my itinerary. Finally they called my name. I took a deep breath and followed the woman.

1:30 p.m. The Express Facial. She took me to a dark room where she was to give me an express facial. I reclined on the table while she got her equipment ready. A bright lamp and some sort of steam machine were to my left. She applied a makeup remover, even though I swore I wasn’t wearing any. She applied an herbal-smelling cleanser on my face, which was later removed with a warm, damp washcloth. She said the cleansing treatment, coupled with the steam was excellent for releasing skin irritants caused by pollution, sunrays and makeup. She then applied a vitamin-enriched moisturizer. The whole thing was very quick, lasting about 25 minutes…probably why they call it an express facial. This type of facial is perfect for first-timers because it was simple, quick and relaxing. The best part wasn’t the creams and gels she was applying to my face but the techniques she used in applying them. She used upward strokes constantly, resulting in a nice face massage.

2:00 p.m. The Salt Glow. After the facial, a different woman was waiting for me outside the door. She took me to the salt glow room — a room complete with a table and a shower. She handed me the dreaded paper panties and told me to remove my jewelry as well. Uncomfortably, I did as I was told. I got on the table, with a towel draped over my paper panties and me. She then showed me the salt mixture she was going to rub on me. In the bowl was a blend of mineral sea salts, natural kelp, aromatic essential oils and herbs, and what she calls skin-smoothing enzymes. She started applying the salt mixture to my shoulders and arms at first, using circular motions, then to the rest of my body. I felt a little painful tingle when she rubbed the blend on my legs. I mentioned this to her. She said it was probably because I had shaved my legs earlier that morning. The spa doesn’t recommend shaving prior to the salt glow, she said. Now she tells me, I thought. Now I was completely drenched in salt…and I liked it! The salt gently rubbed on my skin, softly exfoliating dry skin and dead skin cells. My next step was to get up and rinse off in the shower. She gave me a washcloth unlike anything I have ever used before. It had creases that worked well in rinsing off the salt and exfoliated at the same time. I wish I had asked her what kind of washcloth it was. After the rinse, I felt great. Just when I thought I was done, she applied a rich hydrating cream all over my body. This lavender scented cream was applied after the salt glow to nourish the skin. When it was all over, I felt energized and invigorated. As corny as it sounds, I felt like a new woman. My skin felt smooth and silky, and I felt wonderfully relaxed.

2:30 p.m. The Swedish Massage. After the fabulous facial and salt glow, it was time for my last treatment: the Swedish massage. I walked to the room with a new confidence. The masseuse told me lay on my front while she worked on my neck and back, then on my back for a shoulder massage. She told me that I was super tense. She asked if I ever relaxed. Not really, I replied. How is it possible to relax when I am in front of a computer working on projects and articles all day? She said she would try her best to loosen me up. I have to say now that it’s over and done with; she did a pretty good job. The back massage was a little painful. Fingers kneading intensely up and down my spine is not my idea of relaxation. First-timers might want to tell their masseuse what they like and don’t like. The whole thing probably would have been much more enjoyable had I told her I don’t like deep, hard rubs on my spinal area. The neck and shoulder massages were excellent. I felt calm and tranquil for the first time in a long time. I knew going into this that the whole thing would last about 25 minutes, but I was in such a state of relaxation that I had lost sense of time.

3:00 p.m. Going Home. I got dressed and met my boyfriend back at the lobby. It felt as though my tension had melted away, at least for that day. It was a great experience. I was so relaxed that the minute we got home, I went right to sleep.

Other Spa Treatments

The treatments I had in this particular spa included a facial, a salt glow and a Swedish massage. There are other treatments you could choose depending on your needs.

Facials. There are different kinds of facials including a European facial. This consists of deep pore cleansing, a stress reducing facial massage, a purifying mask, a toner application, as well as a nutrient-rich cream. Another facial is the multivitamin facial that will usually consist of pure vitamin A, C, E and F treatments designed to help repair the skin.

Body Treatments. The salt glow I explained above is an example of a body treatment. Other examples are the body polish, mud treatments, seaweed wrap, and the herbal linen wrap. The body polish starts off with a dry brush exfoliation, then a soothing pumice of essential oils and aloe vera are applied. It is followed with an aromatic body cream. Mud treatments use earth mud to detoxify and purify the skin. A seaweed wrap uses fresh marine seaweed to help eliminate the body of excess fluids and toxins. An herbal linen warp uses steamed herbal-infused linens to wrap around your body. Designed to get rid of debris and toxins, it also aids in the immune system.

Massages. The most popular massage is the Swedish massage, which is basically a neck, shoulders and back massage. Full body massages are also available at most spas. A sports or deep tissue massage is another type of massage. It is intended to stimulate circulation and reduce muscle soreness caused by exercise.

Other services. Almost all spas will have fitness, hair and nail services. Some will have packages that will combine different treatments.

Keep in mind that treatments above will vary depending on the spa. Call or visit your nearest spa to find out about their services.

I highly recommend the spa experience to men and women who have never been to one or who have high-stress jobs, or both. I also suggest doing what my boyfriend did and surprising loved ones with a trip to a spa. It’s a great way to show them that you care about their well being, plus you score cool points.

Did you ever think you’d hear a doctor say “Draw two pictures and call me in the morning”? Today more medical professionals are prescribing art for their patients as a powerful tool for getting-and staying-well.

It’s not such a strange idea. After all, each of our lives is in some sense a work of art, and we are its creators. We can choose to pay attention to our bodies and feelings, and give ourselves what we need to build lives that are healthy and whole.

But now art is meeting life in an exciting new way. A child expresses her symptoms more accurately with pictures than words; an art therapy group brings hope and relief to patients of AIDS; a woman uses painting to connect with painful emotions after the trauma of rape. These bring to us a deeper appreciation for art-as a creative, healing force.
The Power of Pictures

Imagery has a profound effect on the immune system and the body’s ability to heal. The images can be mental, as in the case of visualization and dreams, or physical, as in pictures, paintings and the like. By visualizing their recovery, people suffering from cancer and other serious illnesses are translating thoughts into reality.

Meanwhile, by creating images through drawing, painting or making a collage, people are more able to deal with pain and to identify feelings, as well as physical symptoms. This is not to suggest that art replaces the role of traditional medicine, but rather acts as a complement to such treatment. You should still go to see your doctor, but on the way home, pick up a box of crayons. You Can Draw

As children, most of us loved to draw. In All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, Robert Fulghum observes that as we age we tend to forget how good it feels to express ourselves artistically.

Go to a class of 5-year-old children and ask them if they can draw or paint. You’ll hear a resounding yes. Their faces will be animated and bright, the children will smile-they may even offer to make a picture for you! But ask a group of adults if they can draw or paint and you’ll likely see a very different response. Some people will look down, as if ashamed of their inability. Others will say they haven’t tried for many years, maybe even since childhood.

But crayons and paints are not just for kids. If you have any doubt that you can draw, grab a pen and start moving it across a paper. Make lines, shapes or figures. Don’t try to judge what you’re doing, just allow yourself to do it. Then look at the page, again without judgment. See-you can draw. You just did! Maybe you even had a little fun.
What You Need to Get Started

* Colored crayons, pencil crayons or markers-whichever you prefer
* Unlined white paper (8 1/2″ x 11″ or larger)
* A quiet, comfortable place, free from interruptions

Activities for Your Health

Try these activities when you want to, and approach them with an open mind rather than a sense of obligation. If it starts to feel like a chore or burden, take a break or set the page aside for another day.

Before you begin the suggested activities, take a sheet of paper and just start scribbling. Let yourself relax and play. Don’t try to draw a picture or write words. Just keep it simple and watch the colors as they appear on the page. Try this with your dominant hand, then take a fresh sheet of paper and try it with your non-dominant hand.

Now you’re ready to try one of the exercises:

* Sit quietly and try to tune-in to how you’re feeling. If your feelings had a color, what color would they be? Do they have a shape, pattern or texture? Try drawing your feelings on paper. Let yourself explore and have fun. Try not to judge whether it looks “good”. Label the back of the drawing with a number and date.
When you’ve made several-over the course of a day or several days-take A look at your drawings and see if you can get a sense of the feelings and how they change.

* Sit quietly and let your breathing slow down as you breathe in and out more deeply. Scan your body for pain or other sensations (such as numbness, tingling, hot or cold). Start at your right foot and move up your leg to the knee, thigh and hip, then repeat for the left side. How does it feel?

Then be aware of your stomach, chest, and back. Do you notice any sensations? Now pay attention to your right hand and move up your arm to your elbow and shoulder, then repeat for the left side. Finally, pay attention to your neck, jaw, face and scalp. How do they feel?
Now take a piece of paper and draw an outline of your body using your non-dominant hand. Then color in the sensations you observed during the body scan.

As in the previous activity, once you’ve made several take a look at your drawings and see if you can get a sense of how your body is feeling and how that changes.

* Consider the drawing(s) you made from the body scan exercise above.

Now take a fresh sheet of paper, and using your non-dominant hand draw an outline of your body, but this time draw in the sensations you would like to feel. Imagine what it would feel like to be healthy. You can even title this drawing “healthy”.

Put your picture in a place so you can see it often. Use it to visualize how your body feels when it is healthy and alive. You can be that person!

This is just a sample of drawing exercises that you can use to be more Aware of how you’re feeling, and to visualize (even actualize!) a healthier you.

If you’re interested in trying more activities, take a look at Lucia Capacchione’s The Creative Journal or The Picture of Health, both excellent guidebooks for enlisting your own creative healing powers.

Or try your hand at making a collage. Sarah Ban Breathnach (author of The Simple Abundance books) recommends collage as a way of relaxing and Getting to know yourself better. Her Illustrated Discovery Journal will help you see your life in a different way.

Discover the colors and shapes in your life. Whether you choose to draw Or paint or arrange images in a collage, remember that you are a creative person, and you can create a healthier you.

I keep jogging, noticing lots of aches and pains that I haven’t before. Maybe I’m injured and can’t run! C’mon, Robin, suck it up. I keep going. After jogging, I stretch, then do several striders. I can feel my game face coming on. God, this feels good. I see our region’s best female runner and it somehow inspires me. Just watching her run (usually only briefly, from behind) makes me feel good. I know I can’t expect to beat her, at least not now. But I love the thought that maybe, someday, I can.

OK, it’s time to line up for the start. I do a few jumps in place and look around. I feel comfortable with my place in the pack. Not so far in front that I’m in danger of being trampled, not so far back that I’ll have to pass too many people. I get my watch ready and wait for the gun. There it is- we’re off! I feel pretty good, I feel fast but comfortable. After a minute or two, I pass my husband and baby. They wave and cheer. I watch the leaders disappear but hold myself back from going after them. I know my limitations. Geez, I’m getting tired already- why did I stay up so late last night? I feel like I’ve been running forever- where’s that first mile marker? Maybe they don’t have it posted- I must have passed it. Wait- there it is. I glance at my watch. Wow! About two minutes faster than I’d expected. Now I’m inspired. I settle into a nice groove and try to maintain my pace.

The course is an out-and-back, and after a while I encounter the leaders, who’ve already made the turnaround. I cheer them on, grateful that the turnaround is near. The second mile goes faster, yet my split shows I’ve slowed down considerably. Shoot! Better try to hang on during that last mile. Only a little over a mile to go, Robin. Hang in there. I pass my husband and daughter again- they tell me I look good. I’m getting close to the finish now. There’s a downhill leading up to the finish line, so I try to pour it on. I can see the clock above the finish line. Hey, it’s pretty good. I make a last attempt at a burst of speed, and then, cross the line. Aaahhh! I did it!

I start my jogdown. I feel happy, tired, relieved. My pesky knee doesn’t bother me at all, and didn’t during the race. I know I’ll feel sore and tight tomorrow, but right now I don’t care. I just ran the first race of the year and I feel good. I’m already thinking about next weekend- is there a race I can sign up for? I’m ready.

Channeling negative energy into something positive doesn’t work too often. You go for a run and mess up your knee, swim half a mile and get lapped several times by a small army of girls aged 7-12, or stare at a potting kiln in terror. Trimming the hedges works well but you can only trim the hedges so often. Channeling the specially destructive brand of negative energy that arises with airplane delays, holiday traffic, or any sort of emotional crap poses grave problems. This is where woodworking comes in. Let me take pains to be precise about this. I don’t mean exacting work with fancy saws and twenty layers of lacquer, a binder of blueprints, and a fully equipped workshop.

The woodworking I mean is destructive and mean. If nothing comes out of it, so be it: you succeeded in sawing several cheap pieces of wood, some straight and others finally kicked and thrown against walls and the ground. The lacquer is not so much painted on as thrown indelicately. You can’t breathe so well because of the sawdust, organic solvents, and more empty Schlitz cans than you care to count. The final product may not be an Eames chair but the Eames brothers did not travel 9 hours for a lousy Thanksgiving dinner.
Following, my picks for woodworking music.

TIER 1: NASTY AND BRUTISH

Ministry

Ministry’s roster changed continually, but Alain Jourgensen always managed to put out fantastic stuff. If sawing wood to “So What” or “Just One Fix” does not channel your negative energy, there will be no redemption for you. Mr. Jourgensen’s work for WaxTrax! Records (as a member of Revolting Cocks, among other side projects) defines the industrial sound for me, all the while attesting to his intelligence and his ear.

Big Black

Big Black introduced us to Steve Albini’s metallic guitar work, as well as a thematic focus that veered off from the self-consciously emotional drama of New Wave and the politicized stuff of punk. Mr. Albini’s lyrical stance is mean and sometimes vulgar, and his vocal strategy is menacing and lacking in nuance.

The Jesus Lizard

There’s an art to screaming, and David Yow of The Jesus Lizard is pretty damned good at it. Their early releases on Touch and Go were produced by Steve Albini, and bassist David Sims was a member of Rapeman with Mr. Albini before helping to found Jesus Lizard. A bunch of worthless appellations like noise rock and atonal are typically attached to Jesus Lizard. I value these terms almost as much as I value the government’s use of the word “mandate”.

TIER 2: ILL

Fugazi

Ian MacKaye formed Fugazi (and founded Dischord Records) after Minor Threat placed Washington, D.C. on the world punk map. Mr. MacKaye can scream, though his special brand of screaming is strangely intelligible in places. Fugazi’s stuff is ill and mean (though rather the opposite lyrically), but in an infectious way, a way which can be remixed and spun on a dancefloor to wild approval (like Alain Jourgensen’s dancefloor-friendly industrial wizardry). Pairs well with hammering and repetitive coats of lacquer.

Kepone

This trio from Richmond, Virginia does something rare: it rocks however the hell it wants. And, happily, they often want to rock hard and mean. Toss the malt liquor against the wall and pour out grandpa’s moonshine into the empty mason jars. You’ll end up kicking the 2×4s and throwing saws around but it’s all good. Ex-GWAR bassist Michael Bishop does his thing and Kepone rattles the cage as they see fit.

Try to be an informed patient. Be mindful of your options. Hindsight is bliss. In every case where a difficult decision needs to be made in healthcare it is easy to see what the best thing to do is after it is all over. What do you do when in the midst of a difficult decision? How do you disagree with your physician? How do you NOT take her advice?

You must keep yourself informed and ask questions..If you disagree with the physician tell her but try not to be defensive. Most doctor’s practice within the realm of their specialties. All doctor’s are not schooled in all forms of practicing medicine. They suggest treatment accordingly. For example, usually a dermatologist will not suggest guided imagery or acupuncture for acne. Even when other treatments have failed. Also, when SYMPTOMS can be relieved from certain treatments that’s what is suggested. Doctor’s are creatures of habit just like the rest of the human race. Sometimes their decisions are routine, sometimes it’s business, sometimes they just don’t know what is best for the situation at hand. At times, these treatments are not in the patient’s holistic best interest. We’ve all heard horror stories of over-extensive surgery and chemotherapy that killed the patient before their migrating malignancy.

I recently spoke with a patient’s family about his treatment. The patient was in his late 80’s, just recently became very sick with failing kidneys and a build up of fluid that was causing respiratory distress. He was awake, alert and oriented. He was as pleasant as always. He was appreciative of all the doctors and nurses do for him. “No CPR” was a common order when patient’s do not want to be resuscitated.

How do you watch a patient slowly lose his breathe when maybe you could help him breath again? Maybe, you can offer some comfort.

He worsened. A Morphine drip was not considered. Ativan wasn’t even prescribed in case of increased anxiety that which is very common with respiratory problems. Hospice was not agreed upon by the doctors. It seemed this patient wasn’t sick enough, yet.

Dialysis was suggested. Immediately and then 3x week until death. Dialysis helps a great deal of people by doing the work their own kidneys no longer do…it is often tiring and depressing but it prolongs life and for some that is reason enough to endure these treatments. Many of these patients, on their “off” days function quite nicely. This man had to undergo a short procedure surgery to install an access for the dialysis machine and eventually his veins and arteries will be sewn together at a site in his forearm (takes several weeks to heal before using) for the future dialysis treatments. His daughter was distraught. She hated to see him suffer. His breathing was worse. Dialysis seemed to help only slightly. She didn’t want to seem mean or uncaring but this all seemed ridiculous. She didn’t want him to die but she didn’t want him to suffer. He, on the other hand, was not complaining. I’m sure she prayed. When doctors no longer seem god-like to us, we often go to the real thing and ask Him to decide.

I believe there is a reason for everything that happens here on earth. This man was known to be a good, happy, soulful human being. God knows that.

His daughter witnessed her father crying out the night she took him home. He spoke to relatives previously passed. He seemed scared and then he seemed peaceful. Before the ambulance arrived to pick him up for his scheduled dialysis treatment he died. We believe he was in peace.

Some things are better when they are decided for us. It just depends on who does the deciding.

Please be an informed patient.

Blake Zika was born September 13, 1991, a healthy 8lb. 8oz. boy. I had no complications during pregnancy. Thanksgiving Day, about a month after Blake turned 4 he had a grand-mal seizure. Blake was rushed to the hospital, and after having many tests, (spinal tap, CT scan, blood work, MRI), he was diagnosed with having viral Encephalitis.

Blake stayed for about 4 weeks at CHOC, (Children’s Hospital of Orange County). Blake was put on Phenobarbital, Tegretol, and Dilantin. Blake still had seizures the time he was in the hospital even on a lot of medications. Blake had a few EEG’s in the hospital, they all showed seizure activity through out the whole brain, more seizure activity while he was asleep.

After leaving the hospital, Blake was not having many seizures. Blake would mostly have a s seizure with a high fever. His life was pretty normal compared to his 3 brothers, he was a little more active then his brothers, I always use to blame it on the medications. He swims, boogie boards at the beach, plays roller hockey, most boy activities.

One night about 2 years after he was diagnosed with seizures (Blake has always been diagnosed with a seizure disorder, not a certain name), I went into his room about 1 hr. after he went to sleep and I found him having a partial seizure. Over the next week I kept him in my room and found that he had 1 or 2 every night. Sometimes I wondered why he was so hard to wake up in the morning to go to school.

Over the next 2 years, Blake’s Neurologist tried a number of medications to try and get his seizures under control. We tried Phenobarbital, Neurontin, Tegretol, Dilantin, Topamax, Lamictal, Clonazepam, Valproic Acid, and Tranxene. What I saw over the 2 years was only an increase of seizures, and Blake being drugged out all of the time, and of course, school was a big problem with learning. Blake has always attended a public school, he just got a little extra help, because of his seizure disorder and being on so many medications.

I took Blake to Loma Linda University and met with a pediatric Neurologist, he wanted to try something else besides medications, brain surgery was not an option due to Blake having seizures on both sides of his brain. The Neurologist decided that Blake would be a good candidate for the Vagus Nerve Stimulator. On August 16, 2000 the implant was done. Surgery was done at the outpatient hospital and lasted about 1 hour. Blake was home in about 4 hours and was up playing the next morning. The VNS was activated 2 weeks later. It is activated through a lap top computer with a device that looks like a wand. They just hold it on his chest over the stimulator, and press a few things on the lap top, and that turned it on. The only side effect was a slight cough Blake made for a few seconds.

Over the next few months, Blake had to go monthly to have the VNS increased. The VNS has many different settings, like people respond to medications at different doses. It sometimes takes a while to find a setting that is best for the patient. At one point, Blake’s stimulation was set to high, meaning the stimulation was to strong for his brain, and it caused him to have a seizure. That is completely reversible. We just went in the next day and the stimulator was turned down. I saw an improvement about 3 months later. The doctor decided to start reducing Blake’s medications. Blake was up to 19 pills at the time and was having about 2 seizures a night. I still saw a slight improvement. I seem to think the VNS helped him through the withdrawal months. Blake had a bad time coming off of Tranxene, its a Benzodiazepine. He had a lot of seizures coming off of it, I was discouraged, but the doctor was certain the seizures were just withdrawal symptoms. We, of course, slowed down the process of tapering Tranxene. The seizures seemed to stop fast. When I used the magnet, I hold it and place it over the stimulator and it activated it 10 times stronger then his regular stimulation.

Blake’s VNS is now set to go off every minute and a half for 30 seconds. His voice will sometimes be hoarse when it goes off, but I don’t notice it anymore really. He is now down to 3 pills of Phenobarbital and 1/2 pill of Tranxene. The only time he has a seizure seems to be about 2 or 3 days after we reduced the Tranxene. That is much better than him having 2 seizures a day. So over all, Blake seizures are down by about 80%. The VNS sometimes takes up to two years for the best results. Blake has only had it for 11 months and all I can hope for is him improving more. In the next few months Blake’s Neurologist wants to wean him off of Phenobarbital, maybe another med will take its place but we will have to take it one day at a time. Many people have told me that Blake is a lot happier now, I feel he is not as hyper. School is getting a little better. He was been coming off so many meds over the year. I am very confident he will be doing well in school next year. We had a repeat EEG this past month. and the results were amazing. Over the month with the VNS, his EEG has improved a great deal, now he has a focal point in the front temporal lobe. He use to have seizure activity throughout this whole brain. The Neurologist is certain the VNS is the reason his EEG has improved so much. I look at it as the VNS is healing Blake’s brain.

You may notice some changes in your child’s patterns. You may notice a strong shift in behavior or you may notice something small. Like us, children have signals of stress, too. Here are some you may notice in your child:

* Changes in eating: eating less, eating more, loss of appetite, lack of interest in favorite foods.

* Changes in sleeping: trouble going to sleep, wanting you to stay in the room with him, wanting you to leave her light on, afraid to sleep, waking up crying, having nightmares, terror dreams, waking up frequently, wanting to sleep more, waking up afraid.

* Changes in communication: withdrawn and quiet, increased talking and questions, answering in brief one-word answers, saying they do not want to talk, beginning conversation and then silent.

* Changes in behaviors: not wanting to play with friends, not interested in usual activities. Anxiety can decrease the ability to focus, to sit still, and to enjoy normal activities.

* Increased Aggression: Sometimes the fears , frustrations, and feelings of the child are expressed in aggression. The child may break or smash things, including favorite toys. Often there is more aggression among playmates and siblings such as hitting, kicking, and hair pulling. Lots of “no” and “I don’t want to___.”

* Physical Symptoms: nausea, vomiting, headaches, tiredness, rashes, slight fever, feeling cold or hot, sometimes sensations that a bug or spider is crawling on them. Wanting to be held more, not wanting to be touched—often one then the other.

HERE ARE SOME WAYS TO HELP

* Keep life as normal as possible. Children need to feel a consistency, to know that their life is still okay.

* Read their favorite books. Children like repetition and familiar.

* Tell them you are happy they are in your life, that you love them.

* Every so often, simply tell them, “I’m here.” Or “Hi, there.” Maybe you have a wink or smile or special word that reassures them.

* Have some quiet time together.

* Take a news break.

* Play music instead of television. Music can help adjust your heartbeat to a more normal rate, guide your breathing, and still your mind. Those are essential during times of stress.

* Listen to their questions and words. That will help you know what level and amount of discussion to have with the many issues involved in this event.

You may want to sort through your own values, vocabulary, and beliefs. Children bring up issues and questions that often challenge our communication skills. This event has been showered with words about attack, war, Muslims, Afghanistan, hijacking, enemy, revenge, military, freedom, and many others.

These are sometimes complicated subjects. They will listen to your words for information and wisdom. They will observe your behavior your behavior as a model for theirs. What do you want them to learn and how do you want them to behave? How shall they treat others?

As with all significant issues in life, they need us to help them learn and feel safe while they find the answers to their questions. This time of unthinkable events and uncertain outcomes offers an opportunity for you to spend time with your children and appreciate that you are all alive and together.

The bonus of helping your children make sense and go forward, is that you and your children take time to be together. You are the grown-up and so you want to be honest about your feelings while not budening them. As you listen to them; you can get to know each other more deeply.

In creating space for them to talk and be heard about these times, you have made space for them to talk with you again about other ideas, hopes, and fears in their lives. You have let them know that you are there for them in more than just words. Your children know you will listen and support them.

More Help:

If the behaviors and worries your child expresses (with or without words) increase or persist, please contact a professional counselor. If you have anxiety, worries, or any signals of that stress persist, you may want to ask for help, too. Your child needs you to help them stay mentally and physically healthy.

Men not familiar with the nutritional and recuperative value of food abstinence through short periods of fasting is sadly, misinformed.

An ageless body begins with detoxification

A man’s body if uncompromised by bad diet, polluted water, ingested poisons, stress and psychological trauma it has the remarkable capacity for self-healing, regeneration and longevity. Wastes such as those accumulated through the build-up of metabolic by-products and exposure to environmental pollution (such as contaminated or artificially altered foods and water) lowers vitality and encourages the manifestation of organ degeneration and premature cellular aging because they cause autointoxication.

I replayed the image of my former self in my mind’s eye. As I glanced at the young girl in the mirror, I noticed that her eyes were much too old for her six years. These were eyes filled with too much knowledge and pain for a six-year-old child.

Remembering that day is still very painful, yet it should have been a happy and carefree time in my life. I was so very excited a just week earlier. My mommy and daddy had sat me down for a talk. During our conversation, I had learned that I had a bother and a sister that I had never met.

They told me that my Dad had been married years ago to another lady and that he and that lady had two children. I learned that I had a brother named Rob and a sister named Sally. I was simply thrilled! For an only child to learn that she has brothers and sisters, it is truly a dream come true.

For many years, I had longed for someone– anyone– to play with, widdling away the hours of my childhood. Being an only child can be a very lonely existence. I was almost constantly surrounded by adults. The only times that I had other kids to play with was when my cousins would come and spend the night. Of course, this had a down side. They enjoyed fighting more than playing it seemed.

I learned that Rob, my newfound brother, was coming to live with us in a few days. After our little “talk”, I felt like such a big girl. To be included in this very adult conversation made me feel special. It made me feel as though I had been let in on a great secret. Usually I would get these little tidbits of information from eavesdropping on their conversations after my bedtime.

By the next day, I was driving both Grandma and Mom crazy. It was a beautiful summer morning that we sometimes take for granted in the midwest- a hot day filled with warm sunshine, beautiful flowers that tickle our noses with their fresh, light scent, and a slight breeze that chases the humidity away. I had been out running around our large yard, not content with playing in my little sad pit below the large maple that shaded the front of our large house.

After exploring around the yard, I ran inside the house to see what I had been missing. My grandma sounded thoroughly disgusted when she called; “Now you settle down, young lady!” I lowered my eyes, embarrassed that I had made Grandma raise her voice. You see I had always been her special girl. Of all of her twenty-three grandchildren, I was the only one that had ever lived with her.

My parents lived with my grandma even before I was born. Grandma and I were nearly inseparable from a very early age, which explained our close bond. She longingly caressed my hair and pulled me close, hugging me to her ample bosom. Her white hair was a contrast to the light honeysuckle color of my own. Her olive skin tone drastically contrasted my peaches and cream complexion.

It had always amazed me that I looked almost nothing like my mother or my grandmother. Their dark, Italian beauty was so exotic, so different from my own very fair features. I looked like a female version of my father. We had the exact same eyes. His nose and hair was even similar to mine. Well, that is when he actually used to have hair.

Mom’s voice broke into my thoughts, “Your Dad is leaving work early to go to the church and pick up Rob. They should be back by six,” Mom said as she motioned for me to join her at the sink. She added, “Honey, come help me snap these beans for supper.”

“Ok, Mommy. I sort of like that job, ” I said with a smile as I bounded over to the sink where she stood. My grandma followed me, and we all set to work cleaning the beans.

Helping my mom and grandma, I felt like such a big girl. We were all working together to prepare a very special dinner. As I twisted the ends off of the beans, my mind wandered back to my new brother. I couldn’t quite figure out why he was staying at a church, instead of with his Mommy. I had heard Mom and Dad talking the night before. I was embarrassed when I heard what they were saying. I was sure they had never intended for me to hear it.

I heard my Mom ask, “Why on earth did Alice send Rob off to live with that Pastor?”

“Well Sophia, because her new husband didn’t want to be bothered with Rob,” my Dad offered bitterly.

Mom responded with another question, raising her voice a bit this time, “Who on earth sends her child away for anyone, especially a man?”

“Alice never was the best mother,” he said with a sad tenderness that I didn’t hear in my Dad’s voice often.

When Mom spoke again, I could almost hear the sob she choked back as she said, “Well, he will always have a home here.” Soon after that I had drifted off to sleep.

I think it was the sounds of cooking that brought me back to the kitchen. The pork chops sat breaded in a pan, and the potatoes were bubbling on the stove. The beans that I was snapping when I drifted off were being taken away by Grandma. She was rinsing them. I watched as she poured them into a large kettle, and sat it on the stove also.

I looked at the clock. The short hand was approaching the six. It wouldn’t be long until Dad was home with my new brother. I anxiously awaited the sound of Dad’s car climbing the long, hilly driveway. Then, I heard it! The sound of two car doors slamming filled me with anticipation. I nervously waited for the door to open.

To be continued..

I gazed again at the beautiful maple shielding me from the sun. Her arms shading and almost cradling me. At the same time, the green branches welcomed me. This surreal moment is engraved within my mind- a water colored vision from my youth. I, at that young age, took the time to smell the lilacs. I appraised the jovial, purple blossoms that surrounded me, inhaling the intoxicating scent.

Stepping off of the sidewalk and onto the plush grass, I noticed the shade of green was so vivid. The color was so bright that it had a neon quality to it, which made this whole experience seem unreal and dreamlike. Everything looked unnatural and out of place. It was quite disturbing, for in my six short years, I had never seen such a spectacular shade of green.

I had never experienced the overwhelming sense of foreboding either. Never before had I felt the nervous twitching in my stomach and the strange mix of these feelings and emotions. The feelings evoked deep within me were very disturbing. Perhaps this is why I sat down below the large maple tree and gazed intently at the scene, burning the image into my mind.

Now I am a grown woman with children older than I was at the time of this mysterious scene, but still I can see the way the sunlight danced upon the grass. I can still see the bright rays that cut through the openings between the branches, surrounding me with light. The smell of the wildflowers that cascaded down the bank near the schoolyard still tickle my nostrils and perfume the air as I remember this warm afternoon. I can still feel the warmth of the sun burning into my back.

When I close my eyes, I see that day as vividly as my hand before my face. What made me remember these images so intently? Why were my senses piqued on that particular day? It is strange that I do not recall what happened right after this memorable moment. I am not sure who picked me up after school that day. I may have even walked, for I lived only one block away. I still muse over this memory, never sure of the significance.

Perhaps it was a warning of some kind. Could it have been some sixth sense trying to send my body a message to run? Could it have been my guardian angel’s arms instead of the tree’s outstretched arms that I felt comforting me? Perhaps I will never know what danger I avoided that day. Maybe there was never a danger that lurked beyond the schoolyard that afternoon. Was it was a perceptive glimpse into the future? Could it have been a leap beyond that day? Perhaps it was a warning for those fateful days that lie ahead.

To be Continued..