Just by looking around a typical college dorm room it becomes evident how technology is bringing people closer together. First, there is the room phone for those late night “Can I borrow your notes?” requests. If someone can’t reach you on that phone, of course they can try your cell phone, which is always plugged in and recharging. Meeting reminders, school-wide announcements, the all too frequent chain letters, or a rare note from an old high school friend can be sent to you via email. If all else fails, then of course you can always be reached through Instant Messenger (IM). And if you’re not by your computer, then your “away message” will certainly give people a clue to where you are or what you are doing. Yes, you can be reached virtually anytime or anywhere.

Like its predecessors, IM’s real-time text conversations are changing the dynamic of everyday interaction, but at a new cost: it lets people enjoy the convenience of immediate communication, yet avoid verbal contact. The conversations are often based upon a short hand, superficial jargon and, as text, become available reading material for anyone interested. People have always said, “Watch what you say.” Perhaps, now the warning will be, “Watch what you write.”

The theory behind IM is actually quite innocuous. It is an easy way to keep in contact with friends and avoid long-distance phone bills. The little box which pops up on the computer screen while you are typing that dreaded term paper is always a nice surprise. While it is great to find out what people are up to and how they are doing, it is impossible to have a real, sincere conversation on IM. Many college students waste precious hours (and I do mean hours) frantically typing so that they can bring their friends up to date on the significant details of their lives. It’s quite entertaining to watch someone try to keep up five different in-depth conversations simultaneously. The boxes are blinking all over the screen, while the IM’er clicks the mouse from box to box, quickly reading the IM, writing a response, and then jumping to the next box. After repeating this process for about 15 minutes, the IM’er has the dazed look of someone who just ran a marathon.

What ever happened to those good old days when people used to talk on the phone for hours? At least on phone calls, the callee was given the undivided attention he or she deserved. The human voice is an essential factor in communicating which is lost in IM. You can’t tell how someone is really feeling or properly express yourself through mere words on a screen. And a warning: phrases which are commonly spoken don’t have the same meaning when they are written. Sarcasm is successful in conversation only because the tone of voice counteracts the potentially harmful words. So, unless you are talking to one of your good friends, there is no room for sarcasm during IM sessions.

Not to mention, IM conversations are recorded text, which means they can be saved, printed, and distributed. During high school, a girl brought into my Pre-Calculus class the IM conversation she had the previous night with a boy she liked. She spent the night highlighting the places where he complimented her or made references to asking her out. Despite the calculus lecture, the IM conversation was passed around the class for all to read.

While some might want their conversations to become the latest gossip, others might not. So, word of advice: Don’t step away from your computer if you are having a private IM session because it might not remain private.

These playful forms of contact are not necessarily cause for concern. However, when people use IM as a way to avoid painful or emotional conversations—conversations that deserve to be held in person—that’s when the trouble starts. For example, people now use IM to fight and break-up with their boyfriends or girlfriends. And why not? They don’t have to hear the other person being upset or angry. It’s much easier to write things to a cold, computer screen than say them to an actual person. You would think after being in a serious relationship with someone people would have the courtesy to break things off—at least over the phone, if not in person. But IM offers an easy way out and many people are taking advantage of it.

Maybe I’m just an old-fashioned girl, but I would take the telephone over IM any day. I would rather hear my best friend’s light-hearted giggle over the phone when she tells me about her big date, rather than see “hehehehe” on the computer screen. So, next time you get an IM from a friend or family member, try walking away from the computer, picking up the phone, and saying “Hello.” It will definitely be a pleasant surprise for the person on the other end.