Love The Logic That Motivates Parents


Learning life’s lessons are good for you. I loved you enough to ask where you were going, with whom and what time you’d be home. I insisted that you save your money to buy yourself the things you wanted, even though I could have bought them for you.

I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover that your new best friend was creepy, and not in your best interest. I let you see my anger, my disappointment, the tears in my eyes and my fears, so that you would know that parents aren’t perfect. My mistakes are of human origin, and it gives you permission also to grow and learn without fear. I love you enough to let you be accountable for your actions, even when the penalties were so harsh they almost broke my heart. I said “no” when I knew you wouldn’t like me for it, because you would someday understand.

Knowing those battles would be difficult, I did it for your safety, and in the end you will be a winner. I loved you enough to make you take back the toy and tell the clerk you were sorry and that would pay for it. I made sure you did your chores before going out with your friends so you could learn the value of a job well done. You made the long distance calls without permission to your friends, so I made you pay for them with your allowance. I may have been mean in your eyes, maybe just like your friend’s mom. You didn’t get candy for breakfast. We had eggs, cereal and toast. When other kids had a Coca Cola and chocolate cupcakes, we ate sandwiches and a glass of juice. Our dinners may have been different than what other kids had. I loved you enough to know where you were going, and you thought you were being treated like a convict in a prison.

Your friends and their parents were of interest to me, as you spent time with them — a lot! I loved you enough to insist that if you said you would be gone for an hour, you would be gone for an hour or less.

So, someday when you are old enough to understand the logic, and all the other ways that motivated me, I will tell you that it is because you were loved enough.