Lots of time & money is devoted to channeling negative, destructive energy. Here I propose a simple, cost-effective answer: woodworking to music.

Channeling negative energy into something positive doesn’t work too often. You go for a run and mess up your knee, swim half a mile and get lapped several times by a small army of girls aged 7-12, or stare at a potting kiln in terror. Trimming the hedges works well but you can only trim the hedges so often. Channeling the specially destructive brand of negative energy that arises with airplane delays, holiday traffic, or any sort of emotional crap poses grave problems. This is where woodworking comes in. Let me take pains to be precise about this. I don’t mean exacting work with fancy saws and twenty layers of lacquer, a binder of blueprints, and a fully equipped workshop.

The woodworking I mean is destructive and mean. If nothing comes out of it, so be it: you succeeded in sawing several cheap pieces of wood, some straight and others finally kicked and thrown against walls and the ground. The lacquer is not so much painted on as thrown indelicately. You can’t breathe so well because of the sawdust, organic solvents, and more empty Schlitz cans than you care to count. The final product may not be an Eames chair but the Eames brothers did not travel 9 hours for a lousy Thanksgiving dinner.
Following, my picks for woodworking music.

TIER 1: NASTY AND BRUTISH

Ministry

Ministry’s roster changed continually, but Alain Jourgensen always managed to put out fantastic stuff. If sawing wood to “So What” or “Just One Fix” does not channel your negative energy, there will be no redemption for you. Mr. Jourgensen’s work for WaxTrax! Records (as a member of Revolting Cocks, among other side projects) defines the industrial sound for me, all the while attesting to his intelligence and his ear.

Big Black

Big Black introduced us to Steve Albini’s metallic guitar work, as well as a thematic focus that veered off from the self-consciously emotional drama of New Wave and the politicized stuff of punk. Mr. Albini’s lyrical stance is mean and sometimes vulgar, and his vocal strategy is menacing and lacking in nuance.

The Jesus Lizard

There’s an art to screaming, and David Yow of The Jesus Lizard is pretty damned good at it. Their early releases on Touch and Go were produced by Steve Albini, and bassist David Sims was a member of Rapeman with Mr. Albini before helping to found Jesus Lizard. A bunch of worthless appellations like noise rock and atonal are typically attached to Jesus Lizard. I value these terms almost as much as I value the government’s use of the word “mandate”.

TIER 2: ILL

Fugazi

Ian MacKaye formed Fugazi (and founded Dischord Records) after Minor Threat placed Washington, D.C. on the world punk map. Mr. MacKaye can scream, though his special brand of screaming is strangely intelligible in places. Fugazi’s stuff is ill and mean (though rather the opposite lyrically), but in an infectious way, a way which can be remixed and spun on a dancefloor to wild approval (like Alain Jourgensen’s dancefloor-friendly industrial wizardry). Pairs well with hammering and repetitive coats of lacquer.

Kepone

This trio from Richmond, Virginia does something rare: it rocks however the hell it wants. And, happily, they often want to rock hard and mean. Toss the malt liquor against the wall and pour out grandpa’s moonshine into the empty mason jars. You’ll end up kicking the 2x4s and throwing saws around but it’s all good. Ex-GWAR bassist Michael Bishop does his thing and Kepone rattles the cage as they see fit.